The Immortal Game

How did things get this bad?

Group Log #1

Van: How did things get this fucked?
Donny: I blame this on you fella
Delmar: Me too.
Van: You fuckers are just as much to blame as me. More so because everything against me is circumstantial. The only thing I did was punch Willy in the face.
Donny: Who ya callin a fucker? I’m a right proper bastard
Delmar: Yeah. Yeah, you are. Mick. Anyway, I wasn’t the one who collapsed a building.
Van: I wasn’t the one who shot at the cops.
Donny: I didn’t set a gas tanker on fire and kill 200 of NYPD’s foinest.
Van: I didn’t snap a dude’s neck in front of Previously mentioned NYPD’s finest
Donny: Eh. Fair enough.
Delmar: I’ll give you that.
Van: Now Delmar’s been shot by Agent Class and we need a hospital
Donny: What about Sara’s place?
Van: Yeah. Let’s go back there. I do like that idea.
Delmar: Sure let’s go back to the place where we destroyed a horse racing ring, set a professor’s house on fire, hijacked a boat with 50 Union workers on it, lost the owner of said Professor’s house, fed him to Van’s Kraken babies, then stole an Ice truck, turned it sentient, killed Maria and Willy, then lost them. Sounds awesome.
Van: I think he’s on board. Plus his word doesn’t matter anyway. He shot us.
Donny: Damn right he did.

Providence General Hospital
Sara: What happened now?
Van: He had a misunderstanding with Agent Class. And a depth charge. Mostly Agent Class.
Delmar: Just fix me.
Sara: That’s a lot of damage to fix. This will take a little bit.
Van: Allright.
Delmar: We still need a boat. Why don’t you just buy us one and fund this shit.
Van: I don’t even know what kind of funds I have anyway, you know, being fired and all. Let me check. (Beep). I’m good on funds.
Sara: Did you just do what I think you did?
Van: Maybe…..(Snap!). No.
Donny: Whelp. Looks like we’re in it now boys. I’ll be back
Van: What’s that sound?
Delmar: Sounds like helicopters. Why would there be that many helicopters?
Sara: Yoohoo here turned on his cell phone.
Delmar: Seriously? What the fuck?
Van: I’m fast on my feet. Didn’t say I was anywhere else.
Delmar: We gotta go.
Van: Where’s Donny? OOOOF!
Unknown Massive Black Guy: The wolf always gets his prey.
Van: What? Who’s the camera crew? And who are you?
Unknown Black Guy: Vincent Mann here to bring you down. Where’s the rest of your crew?
Van: Dunno. (Kips up faster than people blink). But we need to talk. This is a huge, massive misunderstanding that is mostly easy to explain.
(After explaining the situation)
Vincent: Ugh. Go to five second delay guys. Okay I need you too hit me as hard as you can.
Van: After all that explaining, you want me to hit? Seriously? No!
Vincent; Okay. (Radio crackles) Hey Mite. We got one for you.
Van: Mite? Wait….
Mighty Mite: SPORK!!!
Van: Fuck.

Donny: What’s that sound?
Crows: Big Blue guy coming this way CAW!!!
Donny: Bloody Hell.
Van: (Thinking)(Where did all these crows come from? Oh.) Donny! Move. Mite is right behind me!
Donny: Yay.
MITE: HALT EVILDOERS! FOR THE TRAIN OF JUSTICE IS BEARING DOWN ON YOU FROM THE STATION OF RIGHTEOUSNESS!
Donny: Does he always tal like that?
Van: Seems like it.

Delmar: There you guys are. Where have you been?
Van, Donny: Running
Delmar: Why?
Van: Giant guy you shot in the face is coming this way. Luckily, he isn’t very agile and Donny’s crows tripped him up. Who’s the people in the Helicopters other than the Knock-off Power Rangers?
Delmar: PMC
Donny: Fun.
Vincent: There you guys are. You said we needed to talk? Well, we don’t really do that. Wang does that. And by talking we mean fighting.
Van: Trying real hard to avoid that.
Donny: I’m not
Van: I know. Okay. Let’s talk to this Wang and see what’s up.
Wang T’an: The true way to measure a man’s soul is to battle him. Then can you only know what his true nature is
Donny: Let’s do this
(After fight)
Wang: You are one messed up individual
Donny: I know
Van: So I’m next right?
Wang: Yes
(Brick wall collapses. Several APCs and a battalion of ninjas and fomorians appears)
Familiar Voice: Oi! Look who it is. My favorite bastard of an Irishman.
Donny: Well damn, if it isn’t my favorite deformed monster and seems you joined up with Agent No-class as well

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NicMuehlenweg ThomasQRogers

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